hotitallian

Jessa

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Dreaming by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Dreaming

I met the man of my dreams last night He held me close and told me everything It brings new light To that phrase “The man of my dreams” Cause I met him while I was sleeping And it was more real than anything I’ve ever had It was completely surprising I wonder if it was real Please god, let it be true And let it happen again I felt safer than ever in his arms He understood me more than I did I talked to him all night And he listened and gave me advice No one ever listens to me like he did It was completely unreal But god it would be wonderful if it could happen Still I can remember how content He made me fe

my first, but not my last by hotitallian, literature

Literature

my first, but not my last

Last night was my first And I know that I promised I would never be like you I would never do this to myself But god why not I mean it wont hurt anything If I just let go And let the substance in It felt strange, but great It was a crazy feeling I wanted to do it again But afterward I felt so sick I woke up And I cringed from the pain My stomach felt about to burst And I didn’t want to do it again Ever But I know I will I’ll have to forget the feeling But I’m sure I’ll do it again I won’t turn out like you I won’t abuse it like you Trust me But still I don’t want it to take over Ca

Saltwater Tears by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Saltwater Tears

I'm tired of wasting all of these Saltwater tears Especially over the guy who complied with all of my worst fears He once told me, "Don't let the losers in life bring you down you're better than that." So I'm sitting here wondering are you the loser in my life? cause you're definit

you lied by hotitallian, literature

Literature

you lied

Where are you, When I need you most I want someone to hold me, Just please hold me close Make me feel happy, It's been a long time I'm sick of feeling worthless, Stop making me cry You said that you loved me, But that was months ago I remember you promised, How did you sink so low? So I ask, how can I still miss you, After all that you've done Well that's why I'm here, Please just don't come Are you doing it to spite me, Cause then you'll succeed I'm pissed off already, You did the dirty deed

The Last Dance by hotitallian, literature

Literature

The Last Dance

I've waited, for what seems like forever just for this moment to come yet when you took my hand and led me away my heart cryed out at what we'de become The world melted away your eyes drove me to insanity as we floated away, into our own little world only your hands held me steady I tried my best to stay calm although my heart was slowly re-breaking our hands were palm to palm It was all I could do to keep from shaking I didn't want this moment to end someday I hope we can be this close again I wanted you to promise, that you once loved me but you still don't know to my heart you hold the key I pretended it didn't matter b

broken promises by hotitallian, literature

Literature

broken promises

You took it away from me... I can never get it back now you wont even accept that it happened, accept the fact! you promised.. you said everthing would be alright you said I was beautiful was it all just a lie am I really that stupid? why, why did I do it? It haunts my dreams it disturbs my thoughts why do I still hold onto it though those memories, I just don't understand you still pertend it never happened face it do something about it can we talk about it? don't let it eat away at you like it has done to me because of you it's hard... to trust anyone because you promised and I beleived you

Get the F_ck Out by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Get the F_ck Out

I can't beleive after all these months... I'm still thinking of you, of your dirty blond hair and yes your deep blue eyes your smirking smile I can't get rid of that feeling you gave me... evertime I saw you smile and everytime you made me laugh those are the times I miss most I miss your laugh I miss your voice I miss your smell I miss you Why did you disapear from my life completely you never explaned you just pretended it never happened I thought I meant something to you.... but I didn't you used me I was a silly little girl an inocent girl caught up in her own little fantasy world I fell into your trap becau

you said you were different... by hotitallian, literature

Literature

you said you were different...

I thought you were different than the others... but I soon found out your just like the rest I thought you were different I thought you cared but you never did Why did you hurt me and then make me find out from her.. You said you were different why did I beleive you? I was nieve I was gullable to your lies those lies telling me you'de wait that you were different god how I wish that I never beleived you never fell into your charmed little world but I did and I hope I never see you again ever again you led me on then left me to wander I was scared and you didn't care you turned away what doesn't kill me will make

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True Self by hotitallian, literature

Literature

True Self

The darkness is all around me, But still I can see you, For who you really are, For who you want to be. I will cry until you understand, Why I have to leave you, It's not that I want to or that I have to, It's that I need to. Why can't you understand? Why I feel this way? Once we were thisclose, But now you look away. You don't know who I am, Just who I want to be. One day you will understand, But for now I will wait For you to come around, And stand by me...

Deep Blue Eyes by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Deep Blue Eyes

When I look into your eyes, I see you for who you are Those deep blue eyes, they swallow me whole I lose myself in them, like i have never lost myself before When I'm around you I melt, like an icicle in the hot sun why can't I just talk to you like I used to instead of thinking that you will always judge me? I know you better than that but still.... when will i get the nerve to tell you how I really feel?

Come With Me by hotitallian, literature

Mind Over Matter by hotitallian, literature

lies by hotitallian, literature

Leave me alone by hotitallian, literature

Those sweet summer nights by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Those sweet summer nights

When I stare into your eyes my heart flutters, and I gasp I want to know everything about you Why is it so hard? I just want you to open up Am I pretty and smart? Or am I just a summer romance soon to be forgotten with the passing of the seasons It hurts more than anything when I can't talk to you like I used to it's life never was fair why can't I just get over you? Was it that sly smile always telling me you were up to something or.. those blue eyes the color of the clearest water the bluest sky It must have been the endless hours I spent talking to you or your gentle touch your sweet eskimo kisses I'm going craz

Sweet Dreams my love by hotitallian, literature

Literature

Sweet Dreams my love

The few seconds before sleep claims me I think of you, and all that we had going for us As I watch your eyes gently close I lay my head against your chest and tell you how much I love you I feel your sweet breath against my cheek and to hear your steady heartbeat is something I will remember but why can't this last forever? do you remember all the fun times we spent together? I missed you so much I felt I would die without you in my life now as I lay in my bed staring at the stars I still think of you do you miss me I wonder cause I miss you will things ever be the same, now when I talk to you it seems lame I need y

So out of control by hotitallian, literature

Literature

So out of control

Sometimes, I feel so out of control someone's always attacking my spirit or soul every day It's harder and harder to put on a face and laugh If it all ended, would you care? would you cry for me? for some reason i doubt it my stomack hurts but it feels good to control something in my life my friends are mean the guys call me names why can't they see me for who i really am? apperence isn't everything damit don't you see....? your killing me

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All Fall Away by littleknownerror, literature

Literature

All Fall Away

And when you forget me, Don't forget me too hard. I'm easy to move on I'm easy to start. I can see that you don't need me, I knew that from the start, But stop acting Before you rapture my heart. Oh god I'm falling, And it's harder than hell. And I'm trying not to, Cause you'll see past me too well. I've lost my connection (Foot in mouth, knife in hand) You've made slight corrections, And I've been programmed. I've been crying About this every night- And I've been writing So much that I might Just blow up With things to say, But I won't say them, And they'll all fall away. You wouldn't listen would you? You'd just twi

Thinking Of You by your-reject, literature

Literature

Thinking Of You

Tonight I'm thinking about you It's been so long I wish you were with me But you're gone Do you ever think back Look at a picture and smile Do you miss me when you're alone? Was it all worth your while? Do you think it was a waste? Not even worth your time Ever moment is a moment gone Every laugh was lying Did it mean anything to you? Do I ever cross your mind? Can you even remember my name Or has it washed away with time? So tonight, I'm here thinking Of a time so long ago I know I'm still holding on Even though I should just let go

hate to love you -ode to a boy by SimplyTrust, literature

Literature

hate to love you -ode to a boy

I'm your Mona Lisa. It's what I hate to be I can't explain; there's just something about you boy Every time you look, fill my heart up with debris The way your grin spins me round just like a small toy I wish that I could trust that sparkle in your eyes When your intense, blue gaze pierces my deepest thought And I wish that I could trust everything you've said But I'll always know, to trust will be my demise Holding close to you, I am aware I should not So ignoring my brain I chose my heart instead Never planned to fall in love with someone like you It's so obvious that you're not the one for me Still I'll keep pretending, hoping

Deviation Spotlight

The Last Dance by hotitallian, literature

Literature

The Last Dance

hotitallian

About hotitallian

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 18 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: USA
Favourite genre of music: rock
MP3 player of choice: Zune
Skin of choice: tan
Personal Quote: "Don't regret anything that ever made you smile."

Favourite Movies

In her shoes

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

John Mayer, Dave Mathews, Spearhead, Sublime, Bob Marley, Carey Underwood, Taylor Swift, chill music

Favourite Writers

too many

Favourite Games

Capture the flag in the woods

Favourite Gaming Platform

um whatever is fun, I have an X box, but I don't play games too often

Tools of the Trade

pen, notebook....nightime...

Other Interests

Snowboarding, Lacrosse, playing guitar, writing, chillin' with friends, NYC, interior Design

Posts

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hotitallian

Jun 30, 2007

Hello again

0 min read

Hey everyone, Well I've been away for quite some time and I just wrote two poems and decided to post them.  I haven't had much inspiration laitly, and I haven't had time to do anything.  I got through about 200 deviants tonight and I have about 300 more it's pretty sad lol.  Anywho I'm sorry if I don't get to comment on all of you're deviants but I'll try to with as many as I can.  I hope all is is well and no one is getting into too much trouble.  Have fun everyone! Love Jessa

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hotitallian

Mar 9, 2007

I'm back

0 min read

These are the people I watch *they all have amazing poetry or art*: ~Amber505 (https://www.deviantart.com/amber505) :iconAStrangerInTheNight: :iconDevChillers: :iconEchoes-of-the-Dead: :iconEverAutumn: :iconfaker-of-normality: :iconhneverton: :iconJaina-Rei: :iconloverforever: :iconNimrod77: :iconpatientlove004: :iconThe-other-one: :iconthesweetestdream: :iconUnsung-Hero: :iconHatzeh: :iconOmniVII: :iconMotherDucky: :IconThe-Guess-Knot: :iconReckoning777: :iconelle-italic: :iconLatestcraze: :iconblkfire: :icontruely-me-niece: :iconnoemis: :iconChelsBells: :iconMurderDoll089: :iconexplosivo89: :iconnonee: :iconzozoferrari: :iconKillxMexLovexFate: :iconsurrealeye: :iconJackIr

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hotitallian

Apr 4, 2006

just a survey...what can I say I'm bored

0 min read

These are the people I watch *they all have amazing poetry or art*: ~Amber505 (https://www.deviantart.com/amber505) :iconAStrangerInTheNight: :iconDevChillers: :iconEchoes-of-the-Dead: :iconEverAutumn: :iconfaker-of-normality: :iconhneverton: :iconJaina-Rei: :iconloverforever: :iconNimrod77: :iconpatientlove004: :iconThe-other-one: :iconthesweetestdream: :iconUnsung-Hero: :iconHatzeh: :iconOmniVII: :iconMotherDucky: :IconThe-Guess-Knot: :iconReckoning777: :iconelle-italic: :iconLatestcraze: :iconblkfire: :icontruely-me-niece: :iconnoemis: These are the people who watch me: :iconAStrangerInTheNight: :iconpatientlove004: :iconloverforever: :iconUnsung-Hero: :iconEverAutumn: